Blogging fear

A little over a year ago I had one of those New years goals and it was to update our blog more often. It's really one of those things that I desire to do. Not because I want you all to read it and to know what is going on in our life. It's more because I have an awful memory and I want our little stories and snippets of our life documented for me and for my family. I want to be able to look back on where we have come from and where we have been. I want to be reminded of the growth that took place, prayers answered, and joys celebrated. I want to take the time to step away from this life that seems to be moving so fast to reflect on all that God provides day in and day out. I am not talking about his financial provision although that is also important.  I'm talking about ALL that HE provides. His beauty, His moments, His work, His joy..and the list goes on.

I hesitated though,  mostly because I am not this beautiful writer, and in all honesty it is my weakest subject. I don't want others to come on the blog and see all the mistakes I have made in my grammar, spelling, sentence structure. Or see that on most days I am scatter brained.  Maybe I was caught in a comparison trap. I have many friends who do this whole blogging thing so very well! Some who even get paid to do it! This has been the reason I haven't updated. I started to feel like it was chore to make it "just right".

As, I reflected on this past year I was saddened that I chose to give into my fear and not blog about it. It was a such a big year for my family and I wish I documented some of those moments when they were fresh.  So as I reflect I learned to not carry the burden of what wasn't done,  but to move forward with clarity and purpose. Got created me just how I am with the gifts he has given me for a purpose. Maybe writing isn't one of them and I am OK with that. I know that he has gifted me in so many other areas that I am oh so grateful for!  It is my prayer that this blog would one day be a gift to our kids as they look back on our days and they are able to read and be reminded of how God shows up in every moment as we continue to walk forward in faith in him. It is my prayer that it would be a gift to Joshua and I as we are reminded of how the Lord has alway been there and will always be! Who knows it may also be a gift to you all. If you could get past the grammar mistakes and see our heart and His heart in all of this.

I was recently told by someone that my instagram account reflects an amazing life, one that doesn't have any struggle. Ugh I guess social media can sometimes make peoples life seem that way. No one really wants to hang their dirty laundry out. We post about the beautiful glorious things and not the messy dirty things. Please know that in our home we have it all. On some days from one minute to the next it changes. There is much Joy as we take our life a moment by moment, day by day. At the same time there is sin and its ugly, and we get caught up in it. We are continuously praying that Satan would get behind us and that the Holy spirit would reign in our home. I will do my best to make this blog as authentic as possible. It's not alway roses, but when it is those days are glorious. We also see His glory it those days when it's not, as He lifts us up out of the dirt and give our feet a firm place to stand and wraps His arms around us and says.. I got this! I am so grateful for our God who does just that.

 This is a picture of our treasures, they are growing so very fast but they still love to feed the ducks every time we go to the library, and I love that we have the space and time in our day to do so! God is so good! 

Joshua and I had the privilege of leading at youth winter camp last weekend, serving together has been one of those things that we have loved to do since the beginning of our relationship! It sure does bless us!